Thursday, March 12, 2009

Easy In His Youth

Today, we did some experiments on Bob Loblaw. We'll call him, well, "Bob". We picked Bob because he seemed so drawn to our studies. For some reason he really enjoyed having his brain disseminated and his body thoroughly probed. It's just unfortunate there aren't more of you out there like Bob. This would make things a lot simpler. But no. Because of your futile resistance we have to employ idiosynchromatical beings like Grimlock of Cybertron, Wreck-Gar (ba-weep-gragna-weep-nini-bong) of Planet Junk and that horse's rear of an android, Data. We thought we could use Data in our brain teleportation, what, with his experience aboard the Enterprise and all. Turns out, he's a freaking idiot. Anyhow, we'll have further input about Bob in the coming weeks as we come closer to the end of your pathetic civilization (Can't wait!). We'll use histograms and funnel charts to record Bob's wonderful time at our mobile subterranean fortress, the Technodrome. You wish you could be so lucky.

Happy hunting.

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